How it all started

I got my first credit card when I was 15. It was life-changing. My mother set me up with a joint credit card with a $400 limit. By the time I had my driver's license the limit was $1200; by the time I graduated, $3600. Today the limit is $6600. I've worn that thing out.

I maxxed out my credit card when I was 16, and again when I was 17. Since then, I've maxxed out a credit card just about every month. I always paid on time, though - so my history wasn't being affected - after all, if there isn't money on the card, it doesn't go through, right? (not anymore, but that's a different post).

I was raised by embarassingly thrifty parents - my father still shops at thrift stores for his clothes; he's the COO of a big water plant. My mom shops at Dress Barn (she does well, though). My parents never gave me an allowance - until I got the hand-me-down Oldsmobile - and they charged me a car payment - offset entirely by my "allowance," which broke me even. I don't really know why they decided to do this... because no money was exchanged. My parents think IZOD is a high-end brand. Sometimes they buy me IZOD dress clothes because they know I like Lacoste. Fail. Did I mention I grew up in Fairfax County; aka the richest county in the country for the past decade? Yeah...

So basically I had to fend for myself if I were to wear what I wanted, and what I wanted was Abercrombie. That's all I wanted to wear. Ever. It was what everyone wore in High School. I didn't want to go crazy - I just wanted to wear their t-shirts and jeans.

So my parents... said hell no. $25 a t-shirt was NOT ok with them. And they said they'd put $10 towards a t-shirt. I started mowing lawns for $$, but this resulted in maybe $20 a week.

So I charged. And charged. It gave me confidence - something I lacked for the majority of my life - I liked the clothes I was wearing, and had the financial ability to do just about anything anybody suggested, since I had a credit card on standby. Eventually, the feeling of empowerment became permanent, and about more than just clothes. On top of that, my parents weren't dressing me in tazmanian devil tshirts from wal-mart (not even kidding - and not even in elementary school - we're talking 8th grade for school picture day here - aka child abuse). By the end of my Junior year of High School, I stood on a scale and realized I'd hit 225 pounds - and I was 5'8". I literally felt a physical change in my head - maybe it was my thyroid producing adrenaline or hormones or something - I was a late bloomer, too - but the bottom line is - I thought to myself, "you control what you put in your mouth. If you don't want to be so goddamn miserable - just lose the fucking weight." My mom called me down for dinner at that moment, and I went down the stairs, and ate only the carb-free and healthy portions of the meal.

That summer all I ate was boneless, skinless chicken breast, vegetables, diet coke and mustard. I didn't cheat. I didn't exercise. I just ate the healthiest food possible. The first week I lost 15 pounds. By the end of the first month I'd lost 35. By the end of the summer, I'd lost 90 pounds. Coming to school the first day of Senior Year was pretty incredible; 10 inches off my waist, a new wardrobe of size small shirts and jeans - all from Abercrombie or American Eagle (i wouldn't be caught dead in most of them now - just tellin' my story). My whole social life started to change - I could always hold my own in conversation, but I was listened to more, and I was proud of myself. I conquered my body image issue entirely. I was also done dieting - my metabolism had changed, and I couldn't gain weight if I wanted to.

By third period I'd been greeted with standing applause after raising my hand during roll-call, had good friends not recognize me... I felt amazing. This was all cut short when we were told that the pentagon had been hit by a plane. Nobody really knew what was going on, but we forced the substitute teacher to let us turn on the news just as the first tower collapsed in NYC. I stood by the doorway waiting for my cue to leave - knowing that my mother would certainly have me out of there in minutes. About 10 minutes later, faculty at the school came up and told me to go home. I drove to church and waited with the church moms until they'd all heard from their husbands (who worked in the pentagon), and then went home.

For the next few days, I did nothing but watch the news. MSNBC was my addiction. The windows on my street rattled when the plane hit the Pentagon. I was obsessed, stressed out, and couldn't concentrate on anything. Eventually, things calmed down, but I didn't. I still watch the news obsessively, and continue to feel the sense of urgency from that day.

I kept the weight off. I had great senior pictures, had a blast for prom, went to parties and drank my first beer... I was slowly coming of age. I also bought a pack of gum every morning with my credit card; I didn't chew gum too often, but a little treat in the morning kept me going. I made a new friend, who went to a nearby high school, and i picked her up at the end of every school day, went to smoothie king (banana boat with diet down added), went to her house, ate everything i saw, and most likely went back to smoothie king for another diet down shake after dinner. I also started chain smoking.

When I went to college, I was 135 pounds. I was given a $25/week allowance, transfered to my checkcard every week by my mother. I argued that it wasn't enough, but they argued that my meal plan meant i had everything i needed.

Well, this is college. $25 a week covered... cigarettes. But what about when we didn't feel like getting the shits after every meal? What about all the kids from my county that came down with cars and cards that their parents paid off (about 75% of them)? The answer: CREDIT.

This is where my true rebellion took control. I empowered myself with weight. I was popular, and always invited out. I had hundreds of friends. I had some nice clothes, but had a fashion sense and a need to change it up. I was also FINALLY free to be openly gay - I was out in High School, but had no intention of telling my parents until college - and no intention to date until college. Now - it was time.

I pretty much went nuts. I'd get coffee, cigarettes, and some sort of snack every day. I bought clothes. I bought cologne. In the grand scheme of things, I wasn't doing anything too crazy - but I had $25 a week, and was spending nearly $75. The credit limit kept increasing with my balance, so I never hit the limit. I never kept track of my finances - I never balanced my checkbook, or used checks; I'd just use my card until it was declined.

Things started changing with banks; they started to get more computer-savvy - and all of a sudden, online banking was born. So was it's evil twin: the bane of my existance; the source of all that is predatory and evil in this world; the fee that superglued me into debt for nearly a decade to come. The overdraft fee.

xo,

The Guy in the Pink Aviators